SWE Uprising Review

Saturday 26 April 2014

There had been a show the previous night at Menzieshill that I was unable to attend and tonight's show started with a video intro updating people on what had been going on in the last few weeks.  I will make references to the last two shows where necessary throughout this blog....

Ring announcer Calum McMinn appeared, however during Friday's show Bravehart announced a match between McMinn and rival Chris Duke for Uprising, with the winner being made the permanent SWE ring announcer.  McMinn then introduced our announcer for the evening would be Justin Crow, who in turn introduced the commentary team of Ravishing Randy Valentine, The Grue and former General Manager "The Solution" Ian Black.

The first match was a triple threat match for the Future Division Championship between new champion Christopher Saynt, who had taken the title from Sammii Jayne the night before, Kevin Williams and Mr News.  Christopher Saynt came out to cheers from the crowd after his face turn at Kirkton which he had apparently continued at Menzieshill the night before.  I still wasn't buying it...and I was right.  He got into the ring, took the microphone and turned on the crowd, showing his true heel colours!  Williams and News started the match while Saynt skulked outside the ring, then Saynt and Williams got into it while News sat with the commentary team.  Williams took the worst of it, then Saynt faced Mr News and it looked like News might take the win before Saynt reversed a move and hit Mr News with the DDT and took the win, retaining the title.

The next installment in the 'Bravehart's PA' saga involved Billy Strachan and Stevie Simmons and was a true comedy segment.  The Grue entered the ring and asked Bravehart to please come out to the ring.  Instead out came Billy and Stevie and these guys were hysterical with Billy playing the suck-up heel and Stevie being...well Stevie - who came out wearing a shirt with two ties, pj bottoms and a roll of toilet paper tucked into the back of them!  Billy then told The Grue that Bravehart would not be coming out to the ring at this time.

The next match was between Chaz Phoenix and LJT.  This looked to be total mis-match with the brutal heavyweight Phoenix twice the size of LJT and the start of the match was almost uncomfortable to watch as LJT was thrown around like a rag doll, however he started to work his way back into the match, using his aerial moves to catch Phoenix out but the match ended in a no contest when Scott Renwick appeared from the crowd and nailed LJT and Steven Magners came out to attack Phoenix with a hammer, leaving the metal chair Chaz happened to be carrying badly dented.

Bravehart came out to the ring, accompanied by Billy Strachan, Stevie Simmons and The Trident.  This was when I started the "Billy Brown-Nose" chant.  The PA applicants were then told that they would each arrange a match to determine who would get the position.  Stevie's match was a Bra and Panties match with Billy's match being Randy Valentine against Jay the Jackal in a lumberjack match.  Bravehart then proceeded to pick on the daughter of previous night's applicant Amy Anderson, making the wee girl cry - he truly is an evil Scotsman!

The next match was to be Calum McMinn against Chris Duke however after McMinn had arrived in the ring, Duke appeared on the video screen saying that he couldn't believe that Bravehart would put him in a match as he had a heart condition and the stress had even brought him out in spots (he had actually caught chickenpox from his daughter).  He therefore had arranged for someone to take his place and we were not surprised when he introduced "The Lowland Superstar" Glen Dunbar.  Despite the crowd being firmly behind McMinn, Dunbar dominated the match.  McMinn did start well, slamming Dunbar off the barriers right in front of me and also attempted a few wrestling moves with varying levels of success.  Considering he is an announcer and not a wrestler, he did not too bad.  After drawing blood from Dunbar during an altercation at the last Uprising, it was Dunbar's turn to draw blood and McMinn was bleeding from his head during this match.  Dunbar pulled him up off the canvas on a two count and declared the punishment was not over and McMinn tried to take advantage of the chance to turn the tables but it was not to be.  Dunbar finally took the 3 count and left the ring, only for Billy Strachan to appear and tell McMinn that, as per the match stipulation, he was fired!

Bravehart returned to the ring once again.  After picking on Amy's daughter again, he complained that he had to endure a match during the Menzieshill show between Scotty Riccio, Martyn Stallyon and Claymore that bored him to tears.  Enter Claymore who pointed out that at Hell For Lycra it had been Claymore who had won control of the SWE from Ted DiBiase for Bravehart and that his behaviour and attitude was disgusting.  Bravehart responded by making a match there and then - Claymore would face The Trident!  While "the big dour faced one" and "450" stood outside the ring, "Powerbomb" entered the ring to face Claymore.  While initially starting as a fair fight, soon all 3 members of the Trident were in the ring.  Scott Renwick then appeared and rather than helping Claymore, he began calling out to the Trident, telling them what to do to Claymore, before opening his jacket to reveal a Trident shirt beneath.  Does this fourth prong now make them a fork??

During the interval, Rob had his photo taken with Jackie Grady, who had come to have a chat with me before the show, and Randy Valentine, who referred to my comments about him at the Kirkton show....oops!!! 

The first match of the second half was Billy Strachan's lumberjack match.  With heels Glen Dunbar, Scott Renwick, Christopher Saynt and The Trident and faces Steven Magners, Jam O'Malley, Scotty Riccio, Mr News, LJT and Kevin Williams as lumberjacks, Randy Valentine and Jay The Jackal took to the ring.  With the score between them 1-1 after Randy took the win in Menzieshill the night before, both men were desperate to win here.  Valentine definitely put on a better show this time, taking the match to The Jackal right from the start so it was almost a shame when a massive battle between the lumberjacks distracted the crowd from what was actually a really good match.  Once all the lumberjacks had disappeared backstage in their various battles, the match continued with Valentine dominating, however after pinning Jackal, Jay reversed the move on the two count and made the 3 count instead, much to the disappointment of the crowd.

Next up was a 3 corners, intergender, tag team elimination match between Joe Hendry & Viper, Martyn Stallyon & Debbie Sharpe and Scott Renwick & Sammii Jayne.  The Trident also appeared at ringside.  This was an action packed match from the start.  Hendry was eliminated by Renwick after Sammii Jayne hit Hendry with a low blow from behind.  The Trident then attacked Hendry outside the ring.  When Viper entered the ring, Renwick was quick to tag in Sammii Jayne!  During this match Sammii Jayne dived off the ringpost onto Renwick and Stallyon outside, followed by Debbie and then by Martyn Stallyon who had made it back into the ring. Unfortunately it was at this time that my camera battery started to play up and I missed some great photo ops!  After Debbie and Viper were eliminated, Stallyon was left to the mercy of Sammii Jayne and Scott Renwick and it wasn't long before Renwick got the pin to leave him and Sammii the winners of the match.

While I ran to find a socket and charge my camera battery in time for the main event, The Grue took to the ring again and asked Bravehart to come out and answer a few questions.  This time Bravehart did come out, along with Billy Strachan and Stevie Simmons.  The Grue asked what had happened to the Bravehart we all knew and loved.  Bravehart responded by calling the older wrestlers like Claymore has-beens and the crowd responded by giving Bravehart a chant of "has-been" himself.  Bravehart then demanded The Grue leave the ring and turned his attention to Billy Strachan, telling him to leave too.  He then told Stevie Simmons that if he could complete his final task of introducing his match, he would get the job of Bravehart's PA....

The match was a Bra and Panties versus Mask match between Jam O'Malley and Scotty Riccio.  The object was for Scotty to strip Jam down to bra and panties or Jam to remove the mask of Riccio.  This match was hysterical, right from Stevie Simmons introducing "The sultry, the sexy Jam O'Malley" and "from Japan, Scotty Riccio" and we all knew that it was only a matter of time before we would see Jam O'Malley in bra and panties.  Riccio pulled off Jam's top early in the match to reveal the bra, however with Jam in control of the match and Riccio sat dazed in the corner, it was Jam himself who removed his clown trousers to move better and in doing so gave the win to Riccio.  When the ref called for the bell, Jam put his trousers on his head, shook Scotty's hand and then carried the winner from ringside!

With my camera battery partially charged, it was time for the main event, the SWE heavyweight title match between Ian Ambrose and Damian O'Connor, with Ambrose being accompanied by Sammii Jayne as always.  We quickly started chanting for Damo which Sammii Jayne didn't like and she kept telling me to shut up.  After calling Ambrose a chicken, he took a cheap shot at my hair...to which I replied that his hair looked like a bog brush!  Damo took control early in the match and punished Ambrose both in and out of the ring.  Ambrose fought his way back into the match but it was not long before Damo began to dominate again. After suplexing Ambrose from the turnbuckle, Damo continued his onslaught and had Ambrose pinned for the win when The Trident and Scott Renwick appeared and "Powerbomb" pulled referee Ryan Hamilton out of the ring on the two count.  To stop them from interfering more, Claymore, LJT, Mr News and Kevin Williams appeared.  While Damo was distracted by what was happening outside of the ring, Ambrose nailed him from behind and with the referee back in the ring, got the 3 count on Damo to retain the title.

Another great show by SWE.  Looking forward to the next Uprising on 31 May.